Why?

Why did that happened?

It was stated there that i could collect my visa on 07 May 2008, but why did they update the site 2 DAYS later? If i knew i could collect on Wednesday, i would have been sleeping in my own room by now, waiting to celebrate Mother's Day this Sunday, packing my luggages, or even start planning for what i'm going to do for the last month in Malaysia.

And thanks to them, that I've wasted 2 days, 48 HOURS, and going to waste another 48 HOURS because tomorrow's Saturday and the next day's Mother's Day, so they ruin my nice weekend!!

Thanks to them that i had been talking in bad terms to my mum and thanks to them, i am sick!!

---

Why i still dislike this kind of gals? They just make me feel that they have no lifes. Once and again, i heard stories bout gals that actually rejected guys but still flirting madly with them even though they've hurted those guys, pity you guys. I wouldnt have believed that if i didnt read it with my own eyes.

But true, i've seen lots of gals of different races, love to toy guys and are proud to actually share that out loud.

Perasan-ness lol. I wonder, later when those guys grow older, and more mature, will they actually laugh at their silly act and be grateful that they didnt get together with such gals?

Oh, why my baby can only be the centre of attraction when i'm with those classical babes? My baby is more pretty and good mannered than those gals i assure you lol.

---

Watched a nice comedy romance today. And i quite like the phrase used: 'Love is like playing Starcraft'. (Well i didnt really play Starcraft before, but i think lil' bro for sure played before.)

Love is like a strategy game...true i guess, the game of emotional manipulation? lol but the problem is, if everyone is holding that concept in their minds, then how exactly are we going to enjoy the process of being in love? Wouldnt it be very tiring? Being pretentious in a relationship, wouldnt that be very troublesome? Some ppl might thing that having such relationship is fun but for me, i prefer to make things clear and simple. Honesty and trust is what matters.

It is always easy to fall in love, but it is very hard to stay in love...the best solution (for me)?? Fall in love with my baby and music, for they always love me lol!! Ah...once and again i miss my baby...

For someone

For someone who just turned 22 on 7th of may, happy (belated) bday once again, and thanks for the wonderful bday party dinner, and just as what hell belle heard, yup, you got the first and second hug lol.

For someone who just got into a relationship, all the best, i'm happy for you and keep having faith. And i'll always remember this, 'you'll never know til you try'.

For someone who are still struggling with him, have faith, even though i'd love to murder him for you. Guess you'll murder me if i manage to do so.

For someone who nearly pissed me off tat day, we can see that you're very self-centered, we love you still, coz all of us are open to anyone who are interested in us. A good friend as we can see, lover? we doubt so. Grow up dude!!

For someone that cheered today, i have a secret to tell you, well things are getting complicated, but i guess i wont have to tell you that soon. And i hope i wont need to tell you one day.

For someone whom i hurt, maybe badly, i'm really sorry, and sorry to your dear that i did that to you. I just dont get the point. If every decision i made seemed wrong, tell me what you desire. Silence doesnt mean i dont care. We know things are always out of our control, no point having extra anxiety. And i am just having bad temper all because of you. That's because i care, for others, i dont even bother to get angry at all. I'm sorry once again. I'll try to improve. I know i've been very disappointing. I love you, and nothing can change that.

For someone whom i subconciously missing for no reason, i just wish to say sorry i didnt tell you that i'm back, but i'm unhappy that you reply my msg super slow, and one msg every few weeks is kinda disheartening. I know you're busy. Those are the reasons why i am not interested to tell you that i'm back. And you ffk me i think at least 3 times dy (sweat)... but still lol, i still respect and admire you much. One day we'll have a cup of tea and talk bout our interest.

For those who still waiting for me somewhere here and there, i'm sorry, too busy to suck some time out for you guys. Will try to reach you all soon. I promise.

For someone whom i am disappointed with, i know something few days ago, which, plus recent events, really rob me off all good impressions i had on you. Be honest to yourself, and be honest to others, if not, when something's beyond repair, then that's your day of judgement, though i doubt that it'll affect you much, as arrogant is always in your genes.

For someone with the emotional range of a teaspoon, i hope you can loosen a bit your heart, try to see things the other way, maybe that'll help. Honestly, the world doesnt revolve around you always.

For someone who's miserable now, i hope you'll learn to grow up, and be more independent.

As stubborn as usual

Just had an interesting conversation with one of my old classmate, Wen Han.

It's been awhile since i last had this kind of conversation, bout boy-gal.

Hmm, how did it started? Oh ya, was chatting bout me going oversea to complete my course, then he was very kind to remind me not to 乱乱来，meaning dont mess around(he meant not to have one night stand) LOL.

Ah then in my opinion, for a gal that's still single at the age of 20, plus with my common look and pear shape figure, it's well, hard haha. Although well, nothing's certain in this world. Who knows i get despo one day right? (bet that's what he was thinking)

But my stronger reasons (and stubborn still) are that,

1. I dont like loud noisy music
2. I dont like crowded place
3. I dont like club or bar and just not interested
4. I dont like the environment
5. I cant dance
6. I cant drink and dont like alcohol
7. Prefer to sit home, listen, surf and read
8. Prefer to go watch opera or classical concert

So since the interest is not there, and as stubborn as i am, it's very 'highly likely' that i'd go clubbing right?

It's true that if every gal's like me, no guy will wanna step into a club, that's why i'm kind of a freak compare to majority of my female coursemates. Just look at them, pretty, make-up, slim, shopping, earrings, gossips, smarts. They all have the same traits. I've notice gals nowadays seems to move towards that direction, no? But dont blame me Wen Han, coz i just lazy to follow and some more, i am rebellious, i just like to be odd and be myself. I just hate to shop, and cant believe why a gal can spend one hour in shower, almost 2 hours to dress up and put makeup? 2 HOURS!!

Women cant be lazy? yes i can. It's true i've been finding excuses all these time, because i know i will remain single, thus i say, when i find a bf, then i will try to dress up. But i'm still conservative, even if i have something to show, i still wont fall into the norm and dress so lil just in the public. I do know that man have to be entertained, so i only entertain my boy or husband can gua lol. And those guys out there, they have so many pretty gals to entertain them, so i need not worried if the male species will be bored.

And i do believe that, in my present form if any guy is interested, i can be assure that i can have faith in him to love me for who i am, not for what i am. Guys nowadays, or lets put it this way, guys my age, well, most of them rely on their eyes, treatment i got is highly different from treatment those pretty gals got, the outer shells are more important than the inner ones for them. I've seen cases how those guys are so willingly to be a slave for those gals, 'yes' to all their desire, even though some of them are attached. And those gals, too flirtatious dy >.<

How i analyse a guy? first from how they treat the lay people. Then how they treat the more superior ppl. And the kind of friends and gals he mixes with. A guy, who may look good, smart, and/or rich, might ended up being a disappointing species for me. Humans, we rely much on first impression which usually is very wrong and inaccurate. Handsome guys are always eye candies, and that's all for me, they are those ppl who will brighten up your day, if you manage to catch a glimpse of them, hasten your blood circulation a bit or put some butterflies in your stomach. What's more important is how he treats those lay ppl, if he doesnt care, then this kind of guy has personality problems. I believe birds of a feather flock together. Look at those friends of his and you can roughly guess his characters. Additionally, the kind of gals he mixes with will tell you his preference. And... and... if you know the kind of gal he dated before or has/had a crush on, the highly likely the next gal he gets will be of same kind. I do not know how true this can be but that's what i observed. And that is why i answered Wen Han, if i had to choose between him and Beckham, of course i rather choose him, someone whom i know better, and someone whom will be more willing to let me understand him better.

I do believe that, if a guy is really interested in a gal, he would have at least, well, for eg., text her for no reason. Of course the way ppl express their interest is different but i do believe, text msg will be more intimate than msn no? Even the most timid guy would have make a move if they're serious. So gals, dont waste your time. And some guys, they only love themselves. Self-centered creatures. So dont be bothered bout that.

Well, i'm not saying that all guys are like that, i've had quite a number of medic friends, males and females, who are rich, talented, good looking etc. They are those ppl i really will appreciate them more. Not only they're humble, friendly and kind, they're willing to help and they are fair to all sorts of ppl. Now that's really worth giving praise.

And it's always fun to be lay ppl i tell you, because you learn more things than those popular or superior ppl. You see things differently, learn about other ppl differently and in the most honest way.

Still, i'm stubborn and refuse to change even though i'm not happy with my current figure. Well, maybe i try to lose some weight before i take flight lar. It's those pretty gals job to entertain guys and be entertained, mine is to watch and just be myself. Seriously, some guys, as time goes by, you'll be mesmerised by them, some, you just cant help but keep on minusing marks. The kind of guy who's perasan is the one i cant tahan most. And sorry that i will actually make them more perasan just to have fun lol.

Like i always said, i am evilll lol and naughty.

Things will never be the same anymore...

lil thing, that was never significant to me, that had never occured in my mind before, is going to change my world forever.

suddenly i have to see and treat everything in a new perspective.

i am in fear...hopefully just for now.

all the plans i once fantasized about, all the possible outcomes i once drawn, will soon be rendered impossible.

something i thought i could reach, approach, touch, achieve, etc...seem a thousand miles away.

ahh...never thought it'll be that dramatic, but now my life is all about dramas...

this is not an emo post, this is a real, serious post and i'm not exaggerating bout everyting i just blogged about.

i just wish that they will be blessed.

i need to set new rules from now onwards. New sets of principles.

and i will take it to the grave with me if possible.

Did a personality test, here's the link:

http://www.personalitytest.net/cgi-bin/q.pl

Here's the results: I am an ENFP

ENFPs have a tendency to overextend themselves in both their physical and emotional commitments. Their proclivity to procrastinate and to overlook details complicates their circumstances. ENFPs often move on to new ventures without completing those they have already started. Their charming personalities can show signs of irritability and over-sensitivity when their desires to please different people come into conflict. During times of stress, ENFPs feel alienated. They then engage in deceptions that serve to obscure what is occurring within themselves.

The ENFP finds symbolic meanings behind the immediate circumstances. These meanings are construed as foreboding problems when ENFPs are under stress. Having a pervasive feeling of losing control over their own independent identities, ENFPs will feel virtually split apart by intruding circumstances. They will be "besides themselves" and "just not all there" — as if something, or someone, has taken away the essence of who they are. Not feeling like themselves, the ENFP will become subject to their own feelings of shame for being a phony, a fake or an impostor. If stress continues to grow, they may attribute malevolent schemes to others in order to explain away their fears.

Careers:

This lists represent careers and jobs people of your type tend to enjoy doing. The job requirements are similar to the personality tendencies of your personality type. It is important to remember that this is not a list of all the jobs possible. And it is very important to remember that people can, and frequently do, fill jobs that are dissimilar to their personality... this happens all the time...and sometimes works out quite well.

conference planner
speech pathologist
HR development trainer
ombudsman
clergy
journalist
newscaster
career counselor
housing director
character actor
marketing consultant
musician/composer
artist
information-graphics...designer
human resource manager
merchandise planner
advertising account manager
dietitian/nutritionist
speech pathologist
massage therapist
editor/art director

Forbidden to Do These...

Ironically...

1. I wanna cut my hair short short...but Laura and Jen forbid me gao gao...
2. I wanna tan my skin black black, coz if i manage to pass my finals, i'll have at least 13 months to simpan putih-putih, but i'm not allowed...(plan to do it curi-curily)
3. Uncle bought me 36 black sesame soft cakes, but mum forbids me to eat...
4. I wanna move out on 12 of April, but once again, they want me stay til May...I thought they'd wanna spend more time with me??
5. I wanna achieve a higher level of lameness, at least as high as Joshua but Hell Belle hopes i better dont. Reason: Coz it's very cham for ppl who are talking to me...
6. There are a few things i wanna get, but stupid Mr Money just wont let me...
7. I wanna start my drugs list...but my moo~~d says no...
8. So many plans...but Lady Luck said no, so i cancelled 5 plans so far across 1 week!!
9. .......................................

oh kami ah, tasukete!!

I'm Listening for the Weather

So I'm listening for the weather to predict the coming day

Leave all thought of expectation to the weather man

No it doesn't really matter what it is he has to say

'Coz tomorrows keep on blowing in from somewhere

All the people that I know in the apartments down below

Busy with their starring roles in their own tragedies

Sunlight sends you on your way

And those restless thoughts that cling to yesterday

Never be afraid of change

I'll call you on the phone

I hate to leave you on your own

But I'm coming home today

And this busy inner city

Has got nothing much to say

And I know how much you're hanging round the letterbox

And I'm sure that as I'm writing

You'll be somewhere on your way

In a supermarket checkout or the restaurant

I've been doing what I'm told

I've been busy growing old

And the days are getting cold but that's alright with me

Sunlight sends you on your way

And those restless thoughts that cling to yesterday

Never be afraid of change

I'm coming home today

Yes I'm coming home today

I've been doing what I'm told

I've been busy growing old

And the days are getting cold but that's alright with me

Never be afraid of change

Smooch~~

Chilling after a long day, in front of the square solid box...

Eyes popping out due to long stare at the screen...

Turned my gaze to the nearest living creatures that are in front of me, the 2 tortoises...

To my surprise, i saw them watching me at first...

The one to the left was swimming a bit...

Then...

Suddenly...

The left's turned to the right, and smooched it...

Not kidding here...

It looked at the right's, then approached and kissed it!!

Cute and adorable, pity didnt get to capture that...

The right's look awhile at the left's lol, as if a bit dumbfounded...

Love's in the air above the small aquarium there...

Should tell Merv bout this tomoro, when he gets back and if i still remember and if he's not too tired to listen to me...

Sweet old days...

Kites

Rollerblades

Frisbee

Seashells

Marbles

Feeding chicks

Gasing

Barbie dolls

Lego

Beaches we've been to

Sunway Lagoon, Water World

and various sports taught by daddy...

Ah...i can see kids flying kites from my balcony, on IMU hill...revisited by sweet childhood memories...how i miss those days...i wonder how many city kids actually know how to fly a kite?!(ok this might be too much LOL...)

Highlights of The Day

How they broke my heart~~T.T
Were discussing where to have our dinner
Me: wait, wait, when we in strathclyde that time, my bday, i want everyone come and i wanna...(not even finished, my sentence...)
Puileng: ehem.. we are discussin bout kok pim's bday...
Jeannie: I didnt catch taht sorry

Me having non-linear body weight?
Jeannie: Because carolyn has non-linear body weight (muttering)
Me: What? What is that? what is non-linear body weight? Why?
Jeannie: Because you can starve for 2 days without eating and not looking any slimmer at all...
Me: My best record was 4 days, camp during Form 2. They bloody ruined the kitchen we built, and the rain was too heavy and damaged all our food...thus...only milo for the meals...
(what exactly mean by non-linear body weight? figure it our yourself)

1, 2, 3, 8, 10, 15!!??
1=KFC, 2=ticket, 3=skating treat, 8?=jeannie will think of something nice for moi, 10= my target, jen said it's too much, 15= jeannie's target.
(this is our lil agreement)

How to avoid getting annoyed by the frequent shutting of toilet door (if you were fated to take the one near the toilet)
Vivi: One ppl only sh*t once per day mar, so 4 times per day lor...not that bad lar...
Edmund: I thought sh*tting business will be done in campus wan?
(orh... now we know edmund only sh*t in the campus toilets)

Who will cry the most during the day of our flight?
KokLiang: I'll cry from the moment i am in the car coming to KL
Me: I wont cry in front of them(parents) gua, after boarding the plane then cry lor...
Edmund: (unexpectedly) I think i'll cry the most gua (everyone laughing, because is that likely? Just funny to think he cries lol)

How Jen and Vivi can laugh so hard bout my lame joke~
Vivi: i wanna bring videocam and record all our expressions before boarding the plane
Jen: i doubt you'll be free to do that
Me: dont worry lar vivi, just attach the videocam on top of your head so you can pack while recording all ppl's expressions
(and i dont know why they laughed so hard, maybe the thought of ppl with vidcam attached on their head was funny)

About cooking utensils, how many rice cooker should we bring?
All were having mixed conversation...suddenly...
KokPim: We buy cooking utensils to cook BIRD NEST there lar~~
(everyone roaring in laughter and sweating as well)

How i hope to see half naked Edmund LOL
Edmund: Why need to buy so many rice cooker? Can use pan mah...
Vivi: Then maybe you should use wood to cook lol
Me: Ya, then early in the morning, we can see edmund, half-naked, carrying an axe and chopping woods on the ground in front of our hostel...
(the thought of him doing that is hilarious lol)

Bout housemanship
(suddenly)
Edmund: I dont wanna do housemanship in sarawak mar, so the only way is to get married with an Ipoh wife so i can stay in Ipoh...
Edmund: So... i wanna have a pseudo marriage with laiyee!! (...shocking news)

Bout bathing, laundry.
Me: Cant tahan lar, not bathing in the morning..
Edmund: So cold wont sweat de lar...
Kok Liang: Ya lor...
Jen, vivi: Heard no place for us to sidai kain, they use washing machine and dryer there...
Kok Liang: Ya lor if wanna cuci, have to do it curi-curi in the toilet(is that a crime? cuci kain? OMG i never knew handwashing clothes will actually breaks the law...why am i not arrested yet til now?).
Me: Must be expensive lar using those washing machine...
Kok Liang: No need de lar, there so cold, just sidai your baju in your room and let it dry, wont have any bad smell wan...we guys very chinchai wan...
(now we know we should never step into a guy's room)

Me, being minority
Me: Laiyee, i'm afraid i'll really get married at the age of 21, like what we predicted using our teacher's engagement ring lar (tat was when i was 10 years old lol)
Vivi: Good lar, they're all angmo (meaning red hair in hokkien) and they love minority mar.
(so i'm really the minority...)

How Kok Liang's expression ended the dinner
All ppl discussing bout politics...Kok Liang being the loudest and cant seem to speak totally in chinese (those DAP, BN, blah blah blah and those politicians' names)
Me: Can you use fan dui dang for DAP?
Jen: Ya, you shouldnt be that obvious...(and he was abit intimidated by both of us)
~suddenly, kok pim came from his back and bent down so fast and close to his face that he actually...squeaked and jumped from his chair, LOL that expression was classic!!)